Depression & Low Mood

When life no longer feels like itself

Perhaps you've been wondering whether what you're experiencing is depression.

Or perhaps you wouldn't use that word at all.

You just know that something has changed.

Life feels heavier than it used to. Things that once felt manageable now require more effort. You may feel more tired, more disconnected, or less interested in the things that used to matter to you.

Many people don't come to therapy saying, "I think I'm depressed."

More often they say:

"I don't feel like myself anymore."

Whether we call it depression, low mood, or something else, that's often where the conversation begins.

You might notice things like...

• Feeling emotionally flat, numb, or disconnected.

• Having less energy than you used to.

• Finding it difficult to enjoy things that once brought you pleasure.

• Feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks.

• Withdrawing from people or activities.

• Losing confidence in yourself.

• Finding it harder to concentrate or make decisions.

• Feeling as though you're simply getting through each day rather than really living it.

Sometimes these changes happen gradually.

People often adapt without realizing how much their world has quietly become smaller.

You may have been saying things to yourself like...

"What's wrong with me?"

"Why can't I just get it together?"

"Everyone else seems to cope better than I do."

"I'm failing."

"Nothing is ever going to change."

"Maybe this is just who I am."

One of the more difficult parts of depression is that it changes not only how we feel, but how we think.

The story depression tells us often feels completely true.

One of the goals of therapy is learning to recognize that story without automatically believing it.

It doesn't always look the way people expect.

Not everyone experiencing depression is unable to get out of bed.

Many people continue working, raising children, caring for others, and meeting their responsibilities.

From the outside, they appear to be coping well.

Inside, though, they may feel exhausted, disconnected, or as though they're simply surviving each day.

If this sounds familiar, you may also be interested in my article on high-functioning depression.

Making sense of what's happening

Depression rarely appears without context.

Sometimes it follows a significant loss or life transition.

Sometimes it develops after months or years of chronic stress.

Sometimes people have spent so long looking after everyone else's needs that they've lost touch with their own.

Sometimes difficult experiences from earlier in life continue to shape how they relate to themselves, other people, and the world.

Every person's story is different.

Part of therapy is understanding your story rather than assuming everyone arrives here for the same reasons.

As we make sense of your experiences, many of the things you've been criticizing yourself for begin to make more sense.

That doesn't mean staying stuck.

It means beginning from understanding rather than self-blame.

How therapy can help

In our work together, we slow things down enough to understand what has been happening beneath the surface.

We become curious about questions such as:

• What has your nervous system been carrying?

• When did life begin to feel this way?

• What patterns have helped you survive?

• Which patterns still serve you?

• Which ones are now keeping you stuck?

Along the way, we look at the relationship between your thoughts, emotions, nervous system, relationships, and life experiences.

As your understanding becomes more accurate, many people find they become less self-critical, more compassionate toward themselves, and more able to make meaningful changes.

A hopeful note

One of the most painful aspects of depression is that it often convinces us nothing will ever change.

In my experience, that belief is one of depression's greatest deceptions.

People do recover.

Energy can return.

Hope can return.

Life can begin to feel meaningful again.

If you've recognized yourself in what you've read here, therapy offers a place to slow down, understand what's happening, and begin finding a way forward that makes sense for you.

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Want to read more? — Explore how low mood or depression may be connected to patterns that got established in early childhood. Difficulties with setting boundaries or patterns of people pleasing can contribute to persistent low mood.