Bi+ Counselling
Bi+, Pan, Queer, Fluid, and all who are Multi-sexual
Many people on the bisexual spectrum struggle with feeling unseen — too queer in some spaces, not queer enough in others. I offer bisexual-affirming therapy in Vancouver for individuals navigating identity, relationships, bi-erasure, and the mental health impacts of invisibility and invalidation.
While things have been changing significantly for LGBTQ2S+ folks, those of us on the bisexual spectrum face some unique challenges to our mental health and wellness.
As someone who first came out as a lesbian in 1992, and as queer/bi/pan a few years later, I have given this topic significant thought, research and, of course, have had many years of lived experience. I bring this consideration to my bisexual clients as they grapple with the unique and ongoing nuances of being a person on the bisexual spectrum.
People on the Bi + spectrum may face a variety of challenges:
You may still have families, friends and partners who are unaccepting or don’t understand you.
You may still be figuring out who you are.
You may not be out as bisexual even to your intimate partner and community.
You may have others, even in queer community, negate your bisexuality and define your sexuality based on your current partner. (Our sexuality is ours, and does not change based on our who our partner is.)
You may find yourself having to come out over and over again in different arenas of your life, or be invisible.
You may be grieving the loss of experiences with the gender you are not in a relationship with.
And this is all in addition to all the usual life challenges, like: life transitions, career struggles, relationship pain, mood ups and downs, grief, loss, etcetera.
You may be struggling with:
Many of these challenges are not specific to being bisexual, but one’s bisexuality may add a different dimension to your experience of them.
coming out over and over again — so much emotional labour!
making sense of your own story and identity
invalidation from others who do not understand bisexuality
stigma and stereotypes from both hetero and LGBTQ2S+ communities
unwelcoming family members, friends, and even partners who do not understand bisexuality
people who do not believe bisexuality exists — 20% of the general population! (according to research)
bisexual invisibility and erasure
lack of representation of bisexuality in the world
relationships of various types
struggles with communicating what is important to you
feeling alone
feeling depressed or anxious
dating
break-ups
stress
heartache of witnessing our community members’ pain
(You might find my Therapy Prep Package useful: a free resource I send when you sign up for my newsletter)
You might find yourself thinking things like:
Who am I? What is important to me?
Can I find community?
Will my relationship improve?
How can I be and show my full authentic self?
Is this person right for me?
What do I really want?
How do I make lasting changes?
How do I love and care for myself?
How can I manage my difficult relationships?
Why do I feel badly about myself?
Why I am so stressed whenever I have to see a specific challenging person? Can this relationship improve?
You may also notice things like:
feeling overwhelmed
invisible
feeling agitated or unsettled
increased pessimism
feeling too afraid or nervous to speak up about things that are important to you
feeling excessively irritable or annoyed
being more isolated
avoiding difficult situations or people
increased criticality towards yourself
increased anger at yourself or others
feeling uncertain or confused about important aspects of your life
The result is feeling stuck, or stressed, or uncertain about yourself or how to move forward in your life. The goal of therapy is to become clearer about who you are and what you want in your life and relationships, and find support when you cannot find it elsewhere in the world.
Bisexual people may find it challenging to locate counselling professionals who are competent and familiar with the unique challenges bisexual clients face or queer and trans issues. I identify as gender fluid and queer/bi/pan and I am at home working with adults who identify as members of LGBTQ2S+ communities, with a special interest in supporting folks on the bisexual spectrum. I can help with important and often painful concerns like coming out, accepting yourself, isolation that accompanies this sexual identity, gender questioning, relationship struggles, sense of safety in the world, queer parenting, mood struggles, sexuality, challenges with family, etc.
I work to make counselling with me a safe place to be bisexual, queer, trans, non-binary, LGBTQ2S+.
Reach out for help and start the process of change now.
Bisexual Spectrum
Pansexual
Non-binary
Queer
LGBTQ2S+
Trans men
Trans women
Lesbian
Gay
Two-spirited
Curious
Questioning
Fluid
Kink and poly friendly
No matter who we are, we can all benefit from outside support at stressful times in our lives.
You might find my Therapy Prep Package useful: a free resource I send you upon newsletter sign-up.